It seems that the more I grow, the more time seems to be flying by, the more I wish it would just slow down a little, the more I want to hold on to a moment a little longer, and the more I realize that everything is just moments away from becoming a memory. For as long as I can remember, my father has always reminded me of how fast time flies, how life is too short not to “go with your gut” and to enjoy it as much as I can. My mother is always telling me to do what makes me happy and to stay true to myself because before I know it the years are passing by. As a kid and teen, I brushed it off and thought, “Sure, of course”. Until this past year.
For the first time, I found myself looking back more, being confronted with how much I’ve grown, and have yet to grow, how everything has changed and has yet to change. It was as if, every so often, for a few brief seconds, I was standing completely still, fully aware, entirely present, and it was confronting, stunning and absolutely humbling.
These very brief and seemingly very rare moments are the moments where I am reminded to be grateful. They are the moments where I can finally begin to understand why my parents, who have lived a lifetime before me, remind me to trust myself, stay true, and enjoy this journey. These are the moments where I realize that no matter the exhausting, earth shattering, heartbreaking struggle we all might face at certain moments in time, it is exactly that, just another moment, another segment in our collection of moments during this journey.
And I start to notice. This notion of time. This thing where you feel like it’s just flying by like crazy, causing anxiety in realizing how much there is yet to be accomplished. Inducing fear of losing those you cherish and love as they get older, as you get older. The sorrow of having to let go of beautiful moments and allowing them to become memories. Are all, simply reminders to live in full awareness. To be present and grateful, because anything else other than ‘now’ simply does not exist. There is not much that can be done about these moments that I want to hold on to a little longer, or this time that I wish would slow down just a bit, other than enjoying them as they come and appreciate them when they’re here.
This process of practicing presence is, of course, not without its questions. How can I practice presence and still have goals, live with intent and pursue my purpose? How can I be present and enjoy memories made? I can honestly say, I have no clue. All I do know is that finding our own unique balance within this idea is part of the journey. These lessons from the flight of time, however, do seem to make one constant reminder, gratitude. Presence and gratitude. Enjoy this moment, as soon it will change and become but a memory. Be grateful, here and now.
I was recently introduced to the term ”Anicha” which is the Sanskrit word for ”change”. It refers to the fact that everything is always changing, nothing ever stays the way it is. To some, this could be an alarming thought, to others a comforting one. I choose to hold on to the latter. The notion that no matter what, everything is always changing, that nothing ever dies, but just transforms, I find to be an absolutely liberating thought.
It reminds me that I can, and should love passionately, and I can and should live life grateful and aware, enjoy every moment as much as I can, because it will without a doubt soon, change, transform, or simply become a memory. Time will shift, move and change life’s circumstances, it always does. And that is absolutely okay. Soak it all in, be present in every moment. All is well exactly as it is, and if it’s not, no worries, it will soon change anyways.
As I sit here writing this from a state of calm, from a moment in time where everything around me seems to be falling perfectly into place, I remind myself that once again, putting these thoughts into practice is often easier said than done. It is in this realization that I can also be so much more grateful and present in this current state of calm because, as I’ve learned, this life is a balancing act. When it’s ‘too calm’ some chaos will be around the corner waiting to balance that sh*t out. And, well, that too will be yet another moment to find gratitude and simply welcome.
Love & light,