“In stillness, all separation melts away and oneness is restored.” – Gabby Bernstein
For the past six months, I have made the practice of seeking stillness a part of my daily commitment to myself and my well-being. I had always dabbled with the practice on and off since I was a child, having a mother who implemented this in her practice as well made this very familiar territory for me. And though I have always been familiar with the practice, I had never truly felt and experienced the depth and benefits this practice holds, because I was never consistent, or patient enough to truly embark on the journey.
Six months ago I decided to revisit this practice, and this time to truly commit. I started with 11 minutes, just because it felt like a good number to start with. It was quite challenging, finding a comfortable seat, staying with the breath, and being ok with the fact that of course, my mind was going to go all over the place, and that the whole point was to wheel it back in everytime (it’s not called practice for nothing right?). I decided to commit to 30 days.
The first time, around day 28 I got caught up in being “too tired” and “too busy” and simply forgot. So I started again, the second time for 30 days. This time 15 minutes and finally being able to stay with it without my legs falling asleep (this was a very happy victory for me ha!), and somehow, again on day 28 I managed to forget.
Then I realized, how committed am I truly at this point? “Forgetting” is just simply not good enough. Is it just a chore, is it just something I want to get done and over with? Or am I truly tuning in and open to the process and beauty of this practice? What was it with day 28? Was maybe a part of me resisting this?
It was time to truly commit. And so I did, I hit day 30, 60, 90 and then 100. The minutes became longer, 30 minutes a day was the new sweet spot, legs still alive and well and energy balanced AF. I had found it. Around day 60 I began realizing how much of an important part of my life this practice was becoming. It became less about “sticking with it” and more about “tuning in and just being”. It didn’t matter how busy I was, or where I was, that time with myself and to myself became sacred. I realized that, just as with most things, this practice can only truly serve you when you find consistency within it.
Deep breaths, stillness, feeling, listening, grounding. Even on the days when my mind would go haywire and stillness and focus was the greatest challenge of all, sitting there and allowing the chaos to just be and accepting the loudness of the thoughts in and of itself brought a new understanding of it all, it was always all ok exactly as it was.
Stillness and meditation have become irreplaceable, it has become the first start of the day, a priority, and commitment to put the way I’m ‘feeling’ first. To set the tone and intention of the day, to be reminded of what truly matters as I Inevitably flow along the chaos of the mind and the frenzy of the day.
All it takes to start is 5 minutes a day and a commitment to feel yourself, and hear yourself, truly, deeply and purely as you are. Beautiful, whole and already at peace.
Love & light,
