“Whenever you’re triggered by others, it’s because they’re mirroring back elements of your shadow that you’re unwilling to heal… The first step in healing and letting down our guard is to accept that we are not the victim of the world we see. By witnessing our judgment with love and compassion for ourselves, we can see how our wounded side is trying to protect us.” – Gabrielle Berstein, Judgment Detox
Far too often I notice a pattern amongst many, myself included, of quickly taking offense when it comes to certain comments, actions or situations.
As I was recently catching up with an old friend I noticed how they went into a rant of sorts, exclaiming their disdain for certain comments or assumptions made towards them by others. And while I could surely understand where they were coming from, and also why they would feel offended, and even agreed and chimed in for most of it, somehow I found myself not quite understanding why we felt the need to further empower such comments in that way.
And then I realized, that instead of constantly getting offended and blaming this thing or person outside ourselves for the reason we are feeling the way we are feeling. Instead of reciprocating the energy by becoming angry, hurt, and spewing something back in attack.
What would happen if we would take a split second to actually breathe, think, feel, and ask ourselves what is truly being triggered within us right now? Why is this thing that is happening now causing us to feel so offended, hurt, judged and, at times, even angry?
A natural next step, once we start to realize that no one actually has the power to make us feel any type of way without our consent. A beautiful opportunity to find awareness, and maybe even a bit of healing.
We are beings of innumerable layers consisting of countless life experiences, wounds, memories, thoughts, emotions, energy. Anytime an “unwanted” emotion comes up, anytime something within us is triggered so profoundly that we seek to blame another, something within these layers is revealed, something in need of healing.
Now, this in no way means that we should have no boundaries when it comes to the way we allow others to interact with us, or to stand by and just watch injustice occur towards ourselves or others. But it does mean, that it is also our responsibility to ourselves to not simply relinquish power over our emotions to another, but rather make the effort to actually figure out what it is that is triggering us so deeply.
I, as any, know that all this sounds profound, deep, beautiful and uber-aware, but the practice of it is of course, well… exactly that, a practice. Raw, real, not always pretty or easy. Something which will require repetition, falling and rising, giving up and starting again.
Each time, a new layer revealed, a new part of our Selfs re-discovered, a new way of embracing our journey…a new opportunity to welcome in Love…